You’re amazing at answering all these! Here’s another: What happens if you’re a submissive but you hate being told what to do, aka acts of service. What if you’re extremely rebellious and refuse to listen to any one of higher authority? This lifestyle seems kinda iffy to me, but seeing this blog helps. As a person who hates being told what to do, I’m not sure so I’m fit for this lifestyle. Any ideas?

Thank you for the kind words and your question. Being submissive does not mean being submissive to life in general. It is about consensually choosing to submit to a person or persons within a structured and negotiated relationship. This distinction is important because it highlights that submission is not about weakness or general compliance but about willingly entering into a dynamic where you feel safe and fulfilled.

If you dislike being told what to do and have a rebellious streak, you might want to explore the role of a brat. A brat is a type of submissive who enjoys testing boundaries, being playful, and sometimes defiant. This can add a layer of playful resistance within the dynamic, which some dominants find enjoyable and challenging. Being a brat allows you to express your rebellious nature while still participating in a submissive role.

Moreover, it is important to understand that BDSM and D/S lifestyles are not one-size-fits-all. Some people enjoy the play aspects without committing to a 24/7 lifestyle. Casual play can involve scenes or sessions that satisfy your desires without the need for constant roles and rules. This flexibility can make the lifestyle more accessible and enjoyable for those who do not wish to live it full-time.

Finally, it is crucial to understand that the BDSM lifestyle, including both full-time and casual play, is not for everyone. It is perfectly fine to explore and then decide that it does not resonate with you. Personal preferences and boundaries are vital, and what works for one person may not work for another. The key is open communication, self-awareness, and mutual consent in any dynamic you consider.

Exploring your feelings, talking to others in the community, and perhaps trying out different roles in safe, consensual settings can help you better understand what, if any, part of the D/s lifestyle suits you. And if it turns out that it is not for you, that is completely valid. Your comfort and well-being should always come first.