Hi, I hope this message finds you well.

I played with someone for the first time & I am trying to determine if I should chalk up my misgivings to “drop” or if I did too much too soon? I am feeling over exposed. We played online, but I still feel like I may have over shared too much of my body. During the scene, I was very eager to please and felt happy & safe. But now the walk of shame is bringing shade to my sunshine.

Can you talk this girl down from the ledge?

Thanks for everything!

First, it is important to recognize that your feelings are valid. Engaging in a scene, even online, can bring up a lot of emotions. You mentioned feeling eager to please, happy, and safe during the scene, which is great. However, the feelings you are experiencing now what you describe as a “walk of shame” are also quite common and worth exploring.

What you are experiencing most likely is a form of sub-drop. Sub-drop can occur after the endorphins and adrenaline from a scene wear off, leaving you feeling vulnerable, sad, or anxious. The high you felt during the scene can be followed by a low, which might explain your current misgivings. It is a normal part of the process for many people.

Feeling overexposed, especially online, is something many people struggle with. The internet can make interactions feel less tangible, but the emotional impact is very real. If you feel like you overshared, it might be helpful to:

• Set clearer boundaries for future interactions.
• Communicate with your partner about your feelings.
• Take some time to reassess your comfort levels with online play.

Taking care of yourself is crucial. Here are a few steps you can take:

• Self-Care: Engage in activities that make you feel grounded and relaxed. This could be anything from a warm bath to a favorite hobby.
• Communication: Talk to your play partner about your feelings. They most likely will offer reassurance and understanding.

Lastly, remember that this experience is a learning opportunity. Every scene, especially those that leave us feeling vulnerable, teaches us more about our desires, boundaries, and emotional needs. Take the time you need to process these feelings and do not hesitate to seek support if you need it.

You are not alone in this journey, and it is okay to feel a mix of emotions after a scene. Acknowledge your feelings, take steps to care for yourself, and know that it is a part of the growth process in your BDSM exploration.