It Is Not Darkness Rather It Is A Beacon Of Light
So often we see postings about kink which is referred to as someone’s darkness and the imagery associated with it is often shot in dark, dank, or dilapidated places. However, that is not the case. One is not a dark person; quite the contrary, one is happy, upbeat, positive, and looking forward to tomorrow rather than looking back. It is time that the notion that BDSM is a ‘dark art’ (sorry Professor Snape) is challenged and we allow our brightness to shine with the understanding that both the dominant and submissive have equally important beacons to illuminate.
Before talking about how dominants and submissives provide a special glow to each other, it is important to talk about people generally. Most people, from kinky to vanilla, are bright and colorful. Yes, there are those out there who are going through a dark time from depression, the loss of a trusted friend/loved one, or just one of life’s many trials but in general, there are more positive, future-focused people than negative Nellies. Every day people around the world wake up and choose to be happy rather than dark or down. Remember to choose to surround yourself with those that choose to be illuminating and when a friend’s light is dimming, be a friend, and partner with them to recharge their beacon.
Within the world of BDSM, a dominant is much like the old-fashioned lighthouse keeper. Lighthouses were built back in the ‘old days’ before the advent of GPS, computer navigation, and auto-pilot to help ships find their way around danger and guide them to safe harbors with calm seas and a safe place in the advent of storms. The dominant must maintain the light station, making sure the light is functioning correctly, shining brightly, and all the moving pieces are clean, well-oiled, and ready to withstand the next tempest of the sea. This bright beam of light will help guide their submissive when the sun has dipped below the horizon at sunset and retreated for its slumber until the first light of dawn warms the eastern sky at dawn. This translates to the real-life leadership that a dominant provides by guiding a submissive in times of hurricane and even on those calm warm summer nights. The light is always there, guiding and showing the way forward.
The submissive also provides a light to their dominant. This light is not the narrow, rotating light of a lighthouse or the flicker of a ship’s lantern but it is the bright, warm glow of the sun. A submissive’s sunlight warms the dominant’s world and fills their day with resplendent light. The golden rays of the submissive provides a dominant with the illumination needed so they can see all the mechanics of their lighthouse which enables them in turn to maintain and prepare it for dusk when the sun retreats for slumber.
BDSM is not a time nor a thing of darkness but of bright warm lights that guide each other by providing the light both dominant and submissive need to successfully navigate their places in life. It is not suggested, however, that a submissive would be unable to successfully guide their ship of life without a dominant to light their way or that a dominant somehow cannot light up the night without a submissive. Both can and will lead amazing, full lives independently. However, when the right people come together to form a D/S relationship, the light they jointly shine in the world is amplified, and both find their lives easier, happier, and much better illuminated. It is time that we stop talking about kink being dark but instead talk about the bright light it shines within each of us.