Welcome to this guide on common types of events within the fetish and kink communities. Whether you are a seasoned participant or new to the scene, understanding the variety of events available and how to navigate them safely is essential. This section explores different kinds of gatherings, including fetish parties, play parties, workshops, and munches. Each type of event will be defined, detailing what to expect as an attendee and providing essential tips to ensure safety and well-being. By gaining insight into these events and learning best practices for safe and consensual engagement, you can enhance your experience and connect more meaningfully with the community.

Fetish Party

A fetish party is a social event centered around specific fetishes or a group of related fetishes. These parties provide a unique space for individuals who share similar interests to gather, socialize, and express themselves in a safe and accepting environment. While fetish parties can include elements of play, their primary focus often extends beyond direct participation in fetish activities to encompass a broader range of social interactions.

At a fetish party, attendees often dress in elaborate and provocative outfits that reflect their particular fetishes or interests. This aspect of the event emphasizes the visual and performative elements, allowing participants to showcase their creativity and personal style. The atmosphere is typically festive and dynamic, resembling a dance party or nightclub, where music, dancing, and mingling are key components.

The social aspect of a fetish party is significant. These events offer an opportunity for individuals to meet and connect with others who have similar interests, fostering a sense of community and belonging. Conversations, networking, and forming new relationships are central to the experience. Some fetish parties may also feature performances, demonstrations, or themed activities that highlight various fetishes, providing both entertainment and education for attendees.

While actual fetish play can occur at these events, it is not always the primary focus. Instead, fetish parties are often about the celebration of fetish culture, personal expression, and the communal experience of being in a space where one’s interests are understood and appreciated. This makes fetish parties distinct from play parties, where the emphasis is more directly on engaging in fetish activities and scenes.

In summary, a fetish party is a multifaceted event that combines elements of socializing, entertainment, and self-expression within the context of fetish interests. It provides a platform for individuals to celebrate their fetishes in a supportive and vibrant environment, with a focus on visual appeal and community connection.

Munch

A social meet-up between Kinksters in a public vanilla setting. This could be at a place to eat (the word ‘munch’ originated as a shorthand for a “burger munch”) but also in places like a bar or pub (sometimes referred to as a “Slosh”) for alcoholic beverages.

The general term has however grown beyond just eating or having a drink, people also organize social meetings between kinksters to play board games, go climbing, go for a hike, or do any other activity that can be done in a public vanilla setting.

The goal of a munch is mostly to be a social space to meet other people who are into BDSM/kink and allows you to create a network of people you know to talk about it, and if there is a click, consider to go further with them beyond something suited for a vanilla setting. Munches are however not a place to look for a “date”, but approach people like you would in any other vanilla setting or in a way you would approach them to become friends. It is a great way to get to know people in your area to talk to and share ideas with.

Play Party

A play party is a gathering where kinksters can participate in BDSM scenes. They may be hosted in a commercial or non-profit dungeon or someone’s home dungeon. The venue almost always has specialized furniture available for use, such as crosses and spanking benches. Some venues will have toys or ropes to borrow as well. There are usually separate areas for socializing and eating outside of the main dungeon space so as not to distract the folks playing.

Each venue will have its own rules for what types of sexual activity are allowed (if any) and what level of nudity is permitted. Often local laws will dictate this if the space is not a private home.

There is no expectation or requirement that everyone attending will participate in play; voyeurs are almost always welcome as long as they are respectful. Some attendees will only play with established partners they came with. Some attendees will participate in pick-up play (scenes that were not pre-planned before the night of the party) with folks they do not have an existing dynamic with.

Sex Party

A sex party is an event or gathering where people come together to engage in consensual sexual activities with others. Sex parties can vary in terms of size, organization, and specific rules or guidelines. They may be organized privately among a group of individuals.

Sex parties can take place in private residences, clubs, or dedicated venues that cater to adult or alternative lifestyles. Participants may engage in activities such as partner swapping, group sex, voyeurism, exhibitionism, BDSM play, or other forms of consensual sexual exploration. The specific activities and boundaries at sex parties can vary depending on the rules established by the organizers and the preferences of the participants.

This term is sometimes used interchangeably with swingers party but a sex party has a wider audience and includes folks who don’t identify as swingers.

Swingers Party

A swingers party is a gathering where folks into swinging can participate in sexual activities. There are usually separate areas in the venue for socializing, eating, and sometimes dancing as well.

Each venue/event will have its own rules for who can attend, what type of vetting is required, and what types of activity are allowed in which areas. For instance, there may be couples-only rooms and areas where voyeurs are (or are not) welcome.

There is no expectation or requirement that everyone attending will participate in sexual activities. Some attendees will only have sex with established partners they came with. Some attendees will be open to swapping with other couples. Some will be open to picking up folks they have just met at the party.

Workshops/Classes

A workshop or class within the fetish, kink, or BDSM community is an educational event designed to teach attendees a particular skill or set of skills relevant to the lifestyle. These workshops are crucial for fostering safe, informed, and consensual practices within the community. The format of a workshop can vary significantly, depending on the topic, the instructor, and the desired outcomes for participants.

Some workshops adopt a lecture-style format. In these sessions, an experienced member of the community, often someone with a high level of expertise or specialized knowledge, delivers a presentation. The instructor may use visual aids such as slides, videos, or demonstrations to convey information. This format is particularly effective for topics that require a solid theoretical understanding before practical application, such as the psychology of power dynamics, the principles of consent, or the nuances of specific fetishes.

Other workshops are more discussion-based, where the instructor acts as a facilitator rather than a lecturer. In these sessions, the goal is to encourage interaction and exchange of ideas among participants. The facilitator might pose questions, present scenarios, or guide conversations to help attendees explore different perspectives and share their experiences. This format is valuable for subjects that benefit from diverse viewpoints and collective problem-solving, such as negotiating boundaries or developing effective communication skills within relationships.

The hands-on workshop is another common format, where the focus is on practical application. In these sessions, the instructor demonstrates a skill or technique, and then participants practice under their guidance. This might involve activities such as rope bondage, impact play, or the use of specific BDSM tools and toys. The hands-on approach allows attendees to gain direct experience, receive immediate feedback, and build confidence in their abilities. Safety is a paramount concern in these workshops, so instructors typically emphasize proper technique, risk awareness, and best practices.

Overall, workshops and classes play a vital role in the education and development of individuals within the fetish and kink communities. They provide a structured environment where people can learn, ask questions, and practice skills in a safe and supportive setting. Whether through lectures, discussions, or hands-on practice, these educational events help ensure that community members can engage in their interests responsibly and enjoyably.

 Tips for staying safe at events

Events organized are most typically organized by members of the community and are commonly held in public venues. It is both important as an organizer and as an attendee to take care of safety at the events.

Not every organizer will have experience organizing things as a professional events organizer, thus details will vary greatly. Organizers are not “special” people with extra privileges, they are usually just there to have fun and create a space that they would like to be part of too. Be critical, ask questions, and just treat them like you would anyone else.

The event organizers will likely do their best to accommodate a healthy and safe environment for you to have the event in. However, there are things that you as an attendee can do to help safeguard your safety:

• Check on the event and discover if it has a good reputation. Vet an event just like you would people you meet on your lifestyle journey.
• Go together with someone you already know can help make you feel safer.
• Make sure to understand, know, and respect the rules of the event. Events will have rules and/or a code of conduct.