Edward Volkl

A self tie of rope bondage

Shibari Rich and Storied

Shibari, also known as Japanese rope bondage, has a rich and storied history dating back centuries. Originating in Japan as a form of restraint and punishment, Shibari has evolved into a popular practice within the BDSM community, celebrated for its intricate patterns, aesthetic beauty, and intimate connection between partners. On this Fetish Friday, we will chat and explore the fascinating history of Shibari and decorative rope

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BDSM
Black and white circles expanding out from the center with the word hypnosis in the center

erotic hypnosis

What are some of the techniques used for erotic/recreational hypnosis & how do you safely incorporate into a scene?

Thank you for your question about the techniques used for erotic and recreational hypnosis in BDSM and how to safely incorporate it into a scene. Erotic and recreational hypnosis is a fascinating aspect of  BDSM and kink, offering unique ways to enhance pleasure, intimacy, and power dynamics within a scene. When performed with care, understanding, and respect for safety, it can be a highly rewarding experience. To answer the question, we will dive into an explanation of the techniques used in erotic hypnosis, guidelines for safely incorporating it into a scene, and a discussion of potential risks and dangers.

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Question
The words of rebel, rebel in front of flowers.

rebellious submissive

Here’s another: What happens if you’re a submissive but you hate being told what to do, aka acts of service. What if you’re extremely rebellious and refuse to listen to any one of higher authority? This lifestyle seems kinda iffy to me, but seeing this blog helps. As a person who hates being told what to do, I’m not sure so I’m fit for this lifestyle. Any ideas?

Thank you for the kind words and your question. Being submissive does not mean being submissive to life in general. It is about consensually choosing to submit to a person or persons within a structured and negotiated relationship. This distinction is important because it highlights that submission is not about weakness or general compliance but about willingly entering into a dynamic where you feel safe and fulfilled.

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Question
The word independence spelled out on silver six sided blocks.

unhealthy dependency

How do you help your sub reach their full potential without causing unhealthy dependency?

The relationship between a dominant and a submissive often hinges on a delicate balance of control and support. Helping a submissive reach their full potential while avoiding unhealthy dependency requires a thoughtful and intentional approach. This involves fostering personal growth, encouraging autonomy, and maintaining clear boundaries.

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Question
A group of friends watching a sunset.

non-sexual bonds

Looking for real connections, not situationships. Are strong non-sexual bonds still a thing in BDSM?

Many assume that sexual activities are the core of lifestyle connections. However, the reality is far more nuanced. Strong non-sexual bonds are still very much a part of the BDSM community, reflecting a rich tapestry of connections built on power dynamics, trust, and mutual respect.

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Question
Chicago Harbor Lighthouse with the skyline of Chicago behind it.

other side

No shade, but have you ever tried being on the other side?

When I first began exploring the BDSM community as a newcomer, many of the experienced leaders and mentors strongly recommended starting from the bottom up. This approach involves beginning by experiencing things as a submissive or bottom before progressing to a dominant or top role. The rationale behind this is to develop a comprehensive understanding of the dynamics and sensations from the perspective of a submissive.

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Question
The word LIMITS written in all caps on a caulk board

soft limits

How does a Dom enable their sub to push past their soft limits consensually?

The dynamic between dominant and submissive is built on a foundation of trust, open communication, consent, and mutual respect. Pushing past soft limits, boundaries that one may be hesitant about but is potentially willing to explore, requires careful, consensual navigation by the dominant. The process involves several key steps to ensure the submissive’s well-being and maintain the integrity of the relationship.

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Question
A leather bound journal tied closed sitting on papers on a desk with a pen on top.

How a Journal Can Stop You From Losing Your Flogger (And Your Mind)

In the dynamic world of BDSM, where exploration, self-discovery, and connection are paramount, the practice of keeping a journal can be a transformative tool. Whether unpartnered or involved in a relationship, journaling offers a myriad of benefits, from fostering self-awareness and reflection to deepening communication and connection with partners. Contrary to popular belief, one does not need to be a literary genius to reap the rewards of journaling; it is a practice accessible to all.

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