In the diverse world of BDSM and kink, individuals often adopt specific roles to explore and express their unique desires, fantasies, and dynamics. Each role carries its own set of behaviors, expectations, and interactions that contribute to the richness and complexity of the community. Whether it is an “Adult Baby” who embraces infantile play, an “Ageplayer” engaging in role-play of different ages, or a “Brat” who enjoys mischievous defiance, these roles help individuals navigate their identities and relationships within consensual and safe boundaries. Understanding these roles not only fosters greater awareness and acceptance but also ensures that participants can engage in meaningful and fulfilling experiences. This list provides a comprehensive look into various roles, offering definitions and insights into their unique characteristics and the nuances that define them.

Adult Baby

An adult that plays the role of a baby, to varying degrees. This could involve wearing and using diapers and onesies, sucking pacifiers, eating mushy food (often just actual baby food from a grocery store), playing with baby toys (like blocks or stacking rings), sleeping in cribs, not being allowed to say “big kid words” or any words at all, or anything else that is seen as infantile. Every AB (abbreviation for adult baby) has their own way of going about it. For some it is sexual, and for some it is not. This is not the same as age regression.

Ageplayer

A person who engages in role-play where one or more of the participants acts a different age from their chronological (i.e., physical) age. Such play is not necessarily sexual in nature, and can often be cathartic for the parties involved. While not all ageplayers identify with a specific role like Big, middle, or little, the term is often used to describe dynamics and play involving these roles (such as Caregiver/little relationships). Age regression is a mental state in which the person reverts to a younger version of themselves as a coping mechanism and is nonsexual. In the littles community, conflating age play and age regression is strongly discouraged, as someone who regresses to an age below the age of consent cannot engage in any sexual activity safely.

Alpha

The Alpha is considered strong, dominant, confident, charming, charismatic and other traditionally masculine traits. Often used by the kink community in Primal play and play fighting. Originating in pseudoscientific terms for men derived from the designation for alpha and beta animals in ethology. Classically it has been used as a way to indicate “the most dominant” person in a particular group.

Criticism: The idea of “Alpha” is derived from a masculine cultural background which some people may consider problematic. There has been documentation that disproves the myth of the Alpha Male. The term is also sometimes associated with manosphere groups, in particular incel groups.

Artist

A person who embodies the trait of creativity. They apply learnt technical skill with their own imagination for the purpose of birthing a work of Art. The Artist’s preferred medium may exist in either (or both) the kink or vanilla world. Writing, music, painting, sculpture, dance, textile, pyrography, even macrame — the list is limitless for where their hands will take them. Almost mythical and deified in history, the Artist is likely found in quirky, mysterious, passionate, and abstract souls, who use their medium(s) as an outlet for both identity and their various inspirations. The Artist’s natural companion is the Muse.

Ashtray

Someone serving as an ashtray for a dominant partner. This generally involves cigarettes or cigars being put out on the person’s skin, mouth, or other areas.

Assman

A person, usually of the male gender, but any orientation, whose primary focus of attraction to another person is their ass.

Attention Whore

A person who behaves in a provocative manner in order to get attention. Usually someone who is extremely flirtatious and thinks they deserve all eyes, and hands, on them in the room.

Aunt

Acting as a female identified caregiver to age-players/age regressors who you aren’t comfortable with them calling you Mummy, either due to discomfort with that term, or reserving that for specific people, such as a little your in a relationship with.

Babyboy

A person who seeks a parental and/or nurturing figure in a relationship, with some identifying as or role-playing as a young boy. Also used as a term of endearment for a male-identified submissive or bottom. For the left-of-slash counterpart to this role, consider Caregiver, Mommy, and Daddy. For non-masculine alternatives, consider babygirl or little.

Babygirl

A person who seeks a parental and/or nurturing figure in a relationship, with some identifying as or role-playing as a young girl. Also used as term of endearment for a female-identified submissive or bottom. For the left-of-slash counterpart to this role, consider Caregiver, Mommy, and Daddy. For non-feminine alternatives, consider babyboy or little.

Bakushi

Short and more typically used form of Kinbakushi, also sometimes referred to as Nawashi, and are a recognized proficiency practitioner of Japanese Bondage. The title is generally reserved for a select group of people who have been recognized for their skill and proficiency in Japan and are considered masters in their style of Japanese bondage. Although there is no institute that determines when the title is recognized, they are mostly determined by recognition by the populous. Notable names are for example; Chimuo Nureki, Haruki Yukimura, Go Arisue, Osada Eikichi, Akechi Denki, Naka Akira, Hajime Kinoko, Randa Mai, Chiba Eizoh, Ren Yagami, Kazami Ranki, Akechi Kanna, Osada Steve and Benio Takara.

Bear

A hairy male often taking a paternal and or dominant role. In the gay community the term is also used to describe a certain type of gay man.

Beta

Beta is often used as a slang insult for or describing a man who is seen as passive, subservient, weak, and effeminate. It generally tries to define a structure together with Alpha and Sigma to describe personality type where the, mostly male, person mostly can be described as friendly, reserved, loyal, collaborative and generally a “nice guy” type.

Criticism: This word may be considered offensive by some people as it is derived from a fairly toxic masculine cultural background. There has been documentation that disproves the myth of the Alpha Male (second source). The term is also sometimes associated with manosphere groups, in particular incel groups but some people may choose to use this term as a means of reclaiming it for themselves.

Big

A person who takes on a nurturing and/or parental role in a relationship dynamic.

Some examples of Big roles include Daddy, Mommy, and Caregiver.

Bimbo

The term “bimbo” typically refers to a person, often a woman, who embraces and expresses their sexuality in a manner that some may consider overt, exaggerated, or performative. It suggests a focus on sexual attractiveness, seduction, or engaging in sexual activities without much regard for other aspects of their identity or personal attributes.

Bitch

A bottom role. The term “bitch” can be used as a kink term within specific BDSM or power dynamics. It may be used as a form of role-play or consensual degradation, where one partner takes on a dominant type of role and uses the term “bitch” to establish power and control over the submissive partner. In the vanilla world ‘Bitch’ is the term for a female dog and has been used as a degrading term for women. Some people have chosen to embrace this role as a way of reclaiming the word for themselves.

Blood Player

A person who likes to play with blood, whether their own or others. Blood Players get pleasure by the touch, smell, visual/aesthetic, sound or taste of blood.

Bondage Bottom

A person who receives bondage from another in kink or BDSM play. A bondage bottom is someone who enjoys being restrained, tied up, or otherwise immobilized by their partner or dominant. They derive pleasure or satisfaction from the experience of being physically restrained and may also enjoy the psychological aspects of relinquishing control to their partner. Some subsets of bondage have their own terms for this role, such as Rope Bottom. The term “bottom” typically refers to the receiving partner in activities, while “bondage” refers to the practice of using restraints or bondage equipment for erotic or sensory purposes. It is important to note that all activities should be consensual and conducted with clear communication and respect for the boundaries and limits of all participants involved.

Bondage Slut

Someone who enjoys or engages in sexual activities involving bondage. It typically refers to a person who willingly and enthusiastically takes on the submissive or bottom role in BDSM scenes or relationships. They derive pleasure and fulfillment from being restrained, tied up, or otherwise immobilized during sexual play. The term “slut” is often used playfully and consensually within the BDSM community to signify a person’s enjoyment of and willingness to explore their sexuality without shame or judgment. It is important to note that any sexual activity, including bondage, should be practiced responsibly, safely, and consensually between informed, consenting adults.

Bondage Switch

A bondage switch is an individual who enjoys taking on both the top and bottom roles in bondage activities. They are comfortable and experienced in playing both sides of the power dynamic, alternating between being the one in control and the one surrendering control. Similar roles include being a Rope Switch. A bondage switch may engage in different roles depending on their mood, desires, or the specific scene they are participating in. They can switch between being the person who restrains the other or being the one who is restrained. Switching can offer a versatile and diverse experience within BDSM play. It allows individuals to explore and enjoy different aspects of power exchange, sensation, and role-playing. Bondage switches often have a deep understanding of both perspectives, which can enhance their ability to empathize with their partner’s experiences and create a mutually satisfying and fulfilling dynamic. As with any BDSM practice, communication, consent, and negotiation are crucial when engaging in play with a bondage switch. Clear discussions about boundaries, limits, and desires should take place before any scene or activity to ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and safe. Not all individuals who enjoy both sides of bondage identify as bondage switches. Some may primarily identify as either tops or bottoms but be willing to explore a different role in certain situations – such as being a rope model during demonstrations. Bondage is a highly individual and diverse practice, and people’s preferences and identifications can vary greatly.

Bondage Top

A person who applies bondage to another in kink play.

A bondage top is someone who enjoys taking control and exerting power over their partner, who is typically the submissive or bottom in the scenario. They are responsible for initiating and administering the bondage, restraining the bottom using various techniques or equipment, and guiding the overall scene. The bondage top may derive pleasure from the act of restraining their partner, exploring power dynamics, and fulfilling their partner’s desires for submission and restraint.

Some subsets of bondage have their own terms for this role, such as Rope Top.

The term “top” typically refers to the partner giving activities, while “bondage” refers to the practice of using restraints or bondage equipment for erotic or sensory purposes.

It is essential for all activities to be consensual and involve clear communication and respect for boundaries and limits established by all participants involved.

Bondmaid

A role from the world of Gor in John Norman’s fantasy novels, bondmaids are the slaves of the North, particularly in Torvaldsland and serve the Free Men with the title “Jarl”, not Master. Sometimes referred to as the Northern bondmaid.

Bootblack

A person who specializes in polishing and/or spit-shining boots as part of play, for love of the craft, and/or as a way to give back to the kink community.

Bottom

In BDSM, the top is the person doing the thing or action to someone else, and the bottom is the person receiving that thing or act. Both terms refer more to the active role, not the physical role. This means, as one example, a slave could be physically on top of their Master, yet mentally the Master is still in control of that scene, so, the Master is still the Top and the slave is still the bottom (even though the slave is physically on top). Bottom is an umbrella term that includes, but isn’t limited to, submissives, masochists, prey, slaves, needle bottoms, rope bottoms, etc. In gay male or male-presenting sexual play, both kinky and non-kinky, a bottom is usually the one being penetrated, anally or orally. Bottom can also be used to describe a person who prefers receiving penetration more than penetrating.

Related Terms:

Sometimes a prefix is used to describe what level of stimulation a bottom prefers:

Heavy Bottom: One who prefers receiving intense stimulation during kinky activities, often in the form of extreme amounts of pain.

As a LGBTQ+ community role:

In the gay community the term is also used to describe the person who prefers to be receiver in gay sex.

Brat

Role fits: any gender Alignment: Submissives and Bottoms

A person who likes to exhibit one or more of the following behaviors: teasing, playful, sneaky, mischievous, stubborn, rebellious, sassy, provocatively defiant, or disobedient. This behavior may be a component of their power exchange relationship and should be consented to beforehand.

Compatible Dynamics Include:

Handlers are partners that specialize in taming (or handling) brats.
Tamers synonymous with Handler.

Types of Brat Include:

Feral Menace – (pet + brat) Subby but stabby. Brats gone wild. Chaos but for good.
Princess – A person who requires a particular treatment of praise, care, and attention.
Spoiled Child – (age player + brat) a submissive ageplayer — typically a little — acting as a spoiled and annoying child.
SAM – Smart Ass Masochist. Likes to incur the wrath of their Dom

Brat Tamer

Brat Tamers are of the more classic or traditional interaction, where it’s agreed the brat will be “tamed” into a more submissive version of themselves. The brattiness, and modification of it, is the means to an end – forming order from chaos.

Related roles can Include:

Tamer a broader term that can include Brat Tamers.
Brat Wrangler a top that doesn’t seek to change the brat.
Handler a broader term similar to a Brat Wrangler.

Brat Handler

Also known as a Brat Wrangler. A person who is the Dominant or Top role in a consensual relationship with a brat. Brat handlers, sometimes also referred to as a Handler, see themselves as enhancing, or engaging in, a brat’s natural tendencies. They do not wish to change or mold the brat’s behaviour, but are more than capable of assertiveness or delivering punishments if the brat gets too out of hand.

Bull

A masculine-identifying person with an unusually high sexual stamina who engages in sexual activities. These activities are mostly from a Top role and are for the pleasure of the receiving Bottom role. They are often a third party in a cuckold/Cuckoldress dynamic where they play the role of a more potent partner for the Cuckoldress in order to humiliate the cuckold, but they can also be a third party in a Vixen/Stag dynamic where there is no humiliation involved.

Bunny

A subset of petplay where the individual interested in role play and/or regression will assume the identity of a rabbit, and usually engage in bunny play.

Butler

A service role in a formal setting. May involve emphasis on a formal uniform (suit and tie), directing other servants, and running the household while still answering to a dominant head of house. As this role is usually submissive the first letter is not capitalized.

Caregiver

A person who takes on a nurturing and/or parental role in a relationship dynamic. They tend to the needs of their partner, and often encourage and support them to grow. For gendered alternatives, consider Mommy and Daddy. For a right-of-slash ageplay counterpart to this role, consider little and middle.

Castrator

Usually a masculine identifying Top in castration play and CBT play, where the play is focused on neutering (e.g. a steer role), or feminization (e.g. a sissy role). The term may also refer to a Dom who supports a partner through actual orchiectomy surgery, or takes symbolic ownership of that surgery (past, present or future) as a way of supporting their partner’s identity work.

Castratrix

Usually a femme identifying Top in castration play and CBT play, where the play is focused on neutering (e.g. a steer role), or feminization (e.g. a sissy role). The term may also refer to a Dominant who supports a partner through actual orchidectomy surgery, or takes symbolic ownership of that surgery (past, present or future) as a way of supporting their partner’s identity work.

Centaur

The counterpart to a unicorn is a a centaur, sometimes known as a pegasus. They are usually a bisexual or heteroflexible masculine person who enjoys sexual play with male and female partners in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships or with those who enjoy swinging or group sex. They are different from a bull, who is generally a straight man who enjoys cuckolding. They are named after a mythical creature as they are considered to be rare.

Cheerleader

A partner who is not just open to their partner bringing in new partners, but actively facilitates and encourages connections between their partners, including sexual connections. Cheerleaders can be any gender or orientation. Cheerleaders are actively searching for possibilities, and stimulating situations wherein their partner has sex or relationships with others. This role is not the same as a cuckold, instead cheerleader’s enjoy that their partner enjoys others (they might also join in) and experiences compersion. In ethically non-monogamous relationships, a cheerleader is what a stag is for his vixen. The enthusiasm with which they sex-positively cheer their partner(s) makes them a “cheerleader” rather than any affiliation with other kinks. Compersion, and love, and mutual hornyness is the motivation.

The term is regularly used in polyamorous and other forms of “open” relationships:

“I am so glad you are not only willing to allow me to see other partners but that you are actually my cheerleader”
“Try this new thing, honey, I’ll be your cheerleader”
“This new kink of yours is not so much my thing, but I’ll be your cheerleader”
“Look what your cheerleader found for you, today!”

Chew toy

Someone whose primary interest is being bitten, nibbled or chewed. Sometimes a partner to pups or furries but is a role used in many dynamics.

Cock sleeve

Cock sleeve is basically in the name. Typically a person who wants to be around someone’s cock all the time. Wants to keep someone’s cock warm and be available anytime for some nice warm penetration.

Cock Worshipper

“Cock worshipper” is a term used within sexual and BDSM contexts to describe an individual who expresses a strong admiration or devotion towards the male genitalia, specifically the penis. It is typically used to describe someone who finds pleasure and fulfillment in performing oral sex or engaging in other sexual activities involving the penis. The term “cock worshipper” implies a submissive or reverent attitude towards the penis, often associated with a sense of adoration, submission, or fetishization. It is important to note that the term is subjective and can vary in meaning or connotation depending on the context and the individuals involved.

Concubine

A submissive or slave whose physical, sexual, and financial needs are maintained by an authority figure. More than a partner, never a spouse. Usually kept at home, secluded from the gaze of others, though often has some autonomy on how the house is run.

Corruptor

Role fits: any gender. In the context of kink it is someone who derives pleasure and arousal encouraging and facilitating a vanilla or otherwise less experienced partner to do sexually kinky or taboo things. Done consensually this dynamic does not come from a selfish or malicious place, but rather from the joy of sharing in another’s sexual journey. For example, an older woman or “cougar” teaching a young “cub” about sex.

Compatible Dynamics & Activities Include:

Cougar and Cub
Role Play
Power Exchange

Cougar

An older woman who is primarily interested in men or women significantly younger than her. Cougar usually refers to women in their 40s or older, while women in their 30s are often referred to as pumas, and women in their 20s are often referred to as kittens.

Cousin

When you’re very friendly with a play partner (Often a submissive, little) of somebody who you consider your Uncle or Aunt.

Crafter

This role is frequently used by people to show that they are a crafts-person who creates items from scratch (e.g: a leather-worker, clothes maker etc) but may also denote a BDSM role. In BDSM, the term “crafter” is not a widely recognized or established term. However, it represents a unique and creative approach to power dynamics within the BDSM world. A “crafter” is an individual who embraces a role of guidance and artistic expression, focusing on the growth and empowerment of their submissive partner. In the role of a crafter, one does not seek to dominate or degrade their partner but rather to nurture and uplift them. Like a skilled artisan, a crafter carefully sculpts experiences and emotions, weaving intricate scenes and dynamics that promote personal growth, exploration, and a deep connection between all participants. A crafter’s canvas is a shared space where trust and consent are paramount, where they collaborate with their partner(s) to co-create a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Their tools are communication, respect, and the boundless realm of shared desires. This role celebrates the beauty in vulnerability, the strength in surrender, and the profound artistry of mutual growth. It is a testament to the richness and diversity of BDSM, where individuals can explore their desires and relationships in ways that are uniquely meaningful to them.

Cub

Used as a role within the kink community for a cougar’s (usually) younger lover. In the gay community it is a term used to describe a young, husky, hairy gay man – see: Cub (gay culture).

Cuckold

A man who enjoys the experience of watching or knowing their partner has sex with someone else. Cuckolds often enjoy being humiliated or watching their partner being ‘better satisfied’ by another man but the play and enjoyment can vary between people. The term cuckold has a rather storied history, going back hundreds of years. It was used as an insult as it meant that you had no control over or respect from your wife, since it used to be seen that no self respecting man would let his wife ‘play around’. The kink dynamic of being a cuckold and encouraging your wife to have sex with others as part of your own sexual gratification is a new thing in comparison with the historic use of the word.

Related roles include:

stag – similar to cuckold but with more emphasis on voyeurism
steer – a male bottom role sometimes similar to a cuckold but with a focus on castration play
cuckoldress – the woman (usually dominant) who has a cuckold for their partner
vixen – a woman who enjoys her partner watching her with another man
Hotwife – a married woman who enjoys sleeping with other men (and their husband knows)
Hothusband – a married man who enjoys sleeping with other women (and their wife knows)
Queanbull – The husband or male partner who enjoys sleeping with people other than their significant other.
Bull – the ‘other man’ in the dynamic, usually a top role.
Cuckcake – the other girl that the Cuckquean brings home for her man to fuck

Cuckcake

A cuckcake is the femme presenting or identifying person outside a relationship that has sexual relations, scenes, and/or dynamic with one of the partners. The cuckold or cuckquean can be subjected to implied or direct humiliation, degradation, and sadism by one or both of people involved in the scene or dynamic. This can cross over to romantic scenarios such as dates and going to public/private outings together. The cuckcake can be submissive or a Switch to the person they are cucking with and Dominant to the person they are cucking. There are also Cuckcakes who are Dominant to both people in the couple. There are no set rules on whether the cuckcake is a submissive, Switch, or Dominant to one or both people in the couple. They can have various designations if involved in a triad, throuple, or other polyamorous relationships/dynamic where they help cuck more than one partner. Sometimes the cuckold or cuckquean is involved romantically, sexually, or platonically in the scene, relationship, and/or dynamic or scene with the cuckcake.

Cuckoldress

A woman who may pursue sexual relationships with other people than her partner. Oftentimes she is sexually dominant to her partner and her outside play is to reinforce her dominance. Her partner has full knowledge of her activities.

Cuckquean

A woman who enjoys the humiliation and/or voyeuristic experience of watching or knowing their partner has sex with someone else. While the second word in cuckquean is sometimes mistaken for “queen” the word quean actually means a disreputable woman and was a very old (10th century) term for a prostitute.

Cuddle Slut

One who enthusiastically enjoys cuddling. Though cuddling in this context is not necessarily sexual in nature, some cuddle sluts prefer to cuddle primarily with folks of the gender(s) they are sexually attracted to. Not to be confused with a Professional Cuddler, which is a person who fulfills others’ need for cuddling in exchange for money.

Cum Slut

A person who enjoys cum. They generally enjoy the feel of cum and having someone else cum in or on them e.g: on their body, face, mouth, tongue or inside their anus or vagina. Some people may also use this role to show how much they enjoy giving their cum to others. The term “slut” may be considered a slur but within this role it is being reclaimed and is instead used to describe how much someone enjoys cum, not necessarily “being a slut” to get cum in return. This role may be considered a bottom role but does not always have a power exchange element and is often seen within the swinging community without the power exchange aspect.

Daddy

A masculine term for a person who takes on a nurturing and/or paternal role in a relationship dynamic. Their dynamics often involve an element of guidance and support for their partner’s personal development. A Daddy may or may not engage in ageplay with their partner.The title “Daddy” may be used instead of, or in conjunction with, other Dominant titles such as “Sir” or “Master”. For the right-of-slash counterpart to this role consider babygirl/babyboy, middle and little. For non-masculine alternatives consider Mommy or Caregiver.

Daddy Dom

A role that is sometimes considered ‘the best of both worlds’ as it combines two styles of dynamic. They have the gentle, caring side of a Daddy, but are also into other forms of domination play as a Dominant too such as things like impact play or breath play.

Damsel in distress

Someone who enjoys playing the role of someone who needs rescuing.

Degrader

One who derives pleasure from the (often sexual) demeaning, humiliation, or deliberate embarrassment of another person in a submissive capacity. A Degrader typically adopts a Dominant position, is Dominant, and/or is Sadistic.

Degradee

A (typically submissive or masochistic) individual who enjoys, or seeks, the physical or psychological effects of being degraded. This may include humiliation, objectification, embarrassment, and subjection to various mechanisms which will consensually reduce the individual to a low status or position of perceived worthlessness, and which may be sexually arousing.

Deity

A Dominant of any gender identity that thrives off of a kink dynamic heavily infused with worship, admiration and devotion. A Deity may impose consensual rules upon their worshipper with ritualistic and sacrificial elements to them such as expecting prayers and ceremonial behaviours.

Denial Player

Person who enjoys orgasm play, specifically orgasm denial.

Denial Top

Person who is in control during orgasm play, specifically orgasm denial.

Denial Switch

Person who may take either the controlling or being controlled role in orgasm play, specifically orgasm denial.

Denial Bottom

Bottom for orgasm denial.

Diaper Lover

A person with an interest in diapers. The interest can be sexual (e.g: a diaper fetishist) or non sexual. Diaper Lovers (DL) can be attracted to the sounds, smells, and use of diapers. They may feel emotionally comforted by wearing them. The term AB/DL (Adult Baby/Diaper lover) is a generic term that incorporates this role however DLs specifically engage in play and activities wearing diapers and may not engage in Ageplay itself e.g: they may not be Adult Babies, have infantile tendencies or have other baby related items such as, Binkis, bottles, toys, stuffies, little clothing etc.

Disciplinarian

A person who believes in or practices firm discipline.

Doll

A person who enjoys objectification and wants to be transformed through one’s own and/or outside forces into a living doll. Often paired with a Dollmaker.

Dollmaker

A Dollmaker is someone who dresses, grooms, plays with, and physically manipulates their partner like a living doll. Dollmakers derive both sexual pleasure and creative fulfillment from the connection they make with their partner through caring for them, creating their appearances, and placing them into scenes they imagine. Dollification usually occurs in the context of a power exchange relationship. Most often, the Dollmaker is the Dominant of the submissive doll, manipulating the doll to his/her satisfaction. Dominant Dollmakers tend to utilize more force than a Toy-Maker through a reconstruction process that removes the sense of dignity from a human being and diminishes their self/bodily-awareness. Sometimes the Doll can be the Dominant player instead, instructing their submissive makers to use their artistic skills to bring them to perfection.

Domina

Domina is a title used for a dominatrix or domme derived from Latin. It is used in many languages globally and it can mean: lady of the house, mistress, dominant female, lady of honor, the head of a nunnery, or a noble lady who held a barony. The Male version of Domina is Dominus. The word has roots in the word ‘dominae’ which was not bdsm related, but was more for addressing a lady love, a wife or a mistress. It is believed to have evolved into domina during the Medieval Latin era.

Dominant

In contemporary kink a Dominant is a person who consensually receives power, authority, or control in a relationship, scene, or activity.

Core BDSM: In core (or traditional) BDSM the role of a Dominant is more specific. The difference between Dominant and submissive (D/s) and Master and slave (M/s) dynamics is the extent of the Power Exchange. Master is considered an earned title but dominant is considered more of a role. Someone may use the term Dominant to indicate that they are not yet a master or that they aspire to one day gain the title of master, they are considered to be lesser in rank to a Master and may still be learning. In a core BDSM D/s relationship consent is considered to be irrevocable as it is given to the negotiated dynamic rather than to individual actions. If consent is revoked or changed then the dynamic is considered broken – similar to a marriage ending in divorce. A Dom who violates a hard limit may be denied the privilege of remaining in their community due to them not upholding the values and traditions demanded of them.

Dominant Masochist

A type of Masochist who does not want to submit in a power exchange but wants to direct the scene in which they receive pain. May also refer to someone who prefers to receive intense sensations (such as pain) as an action of Domination.

Domme

A female-identifying person who consensually exerts power, authority, or control in a relationship, scene, or activity. Derived from the pseudo-French feminine form of Dom and adopted into the English language via the Internet. Some sources say it was first recorded between 1995-2000.

Drag King

A person, usually (but not always) female-identified, who portrays as a male with the help of dress, wigs and makeup, that is often exaggerated for the purpose of entertainment or fashion.

Drag Queen

A drag queen is a performer, typically male or assigned male at birth, who adopts a hyperbolic and exaggerated feminine persona for the purpose of entertainment and self-expression. Drag queens often dress in extravagant and glamorous clothing, including elaborate makeup, wigs, and costumes, to create a larger-than-life female presentation. Drag queens typically perform in various venues such as nightclubs, bars, cabarets, or drag shows. Their performances can include lip-syncing to popular songs, comedic acts, dance routines, or theatrical performances. Drag queens often use their performances to challenge and subvert traditional gender norms, expressing creativity, artistry, and individuality. It is important to note that drag queens may identify as gay, queer, or any other sexual orientation or gender identity. While drag performance is often associated with the LGBTQ+ community, not all drag queens are gay or transgender. Drag is a form of artistic expression and entertainment, and individuals of diverse backgrounds and identities may participate in drag performance.

Dragon

Similar to Centaur/Pegasus except that the Dragon usually requires to be recognized as the dominant male in the activity or relationship. They often take on a more Bull/cuckold role but may also dominate the male sexually as well as the female. A Wyrmling is a different version of a Dragon. They can take on a more dominant role with the couple but don’t demand or require that role to participate. In some communities people may also use Dragon as a polyamorous term for the male version of a unicorn without any connotations of dominance.

Duck

A sub in a D/s relationship for whom what may come naturally often looks difficult to an outsider, but is nonetheless appreciated by their mate(s) and admirers. Ducks are feisty, wild and a reluctant pet. Often found pecking at & quacking very loudly when being told what to do. Ducks are fiercely protective of those they care about & very willing to defend their position.

Evolving

A person who is undergoing gradual change.

Exhibitionist

A person who enjoys displaying themselves in a public or semi-public manner in order to attract attention and/or for a sexual and/or emotional thrill at the idea of being discovered.

Exploring

A person who is on an open journey through the world of kink.

Fairy Kink Mother

A more knowledgeable & experienced maternal figure that you can go to for help and advice within the kink scene. Someone who takes on a caring, nurturing role to others in the scene. Can sometimes be seen as the kinky version of a ‘Godmother.’

Feminizer

A person who likes to transform men into feminine beings by modifying their appearance, behavior and mindset.

Femme Fatale

An attractive and seductive woman, especially one who is likely to cause distress or disaster to a man who becomes involved with her.

Similar to: Seductress, Temptress, Siren.

Fetishist

A person who is aroused by objects or nonsexual parts of the body and generally requires them for arousal and/or orgasm.

Final girl

The final girl is a horror film trope (particularly slasher films) that refers to the last girl(s) or woman alive to “confront the killer”, she is the last one left standing at the end of the movie. Generally, final girls will use cunning, wit & strength to survive the scene or moment. Although the final girl may survive the scene; their partner will be waiting for the next opportunity to strike again. In this scene or dynamic, their partner will “stalk” and “attack” while the final girl “fights back” or resists the attack. Final girls usually have pre-negotiated and consented to the power exchange and may have a CNC agreement that allows the participants to discuss and set limits around what is considered to be acceptable stalking, “attack” or “fighting back” behaviours before their scene takes place. Final girls are usually the bottom of the scene or the s-type of the dynamic. Final girls would fall under the umbrella of Primal play and are similar to the victim or prey role as final girls will generally have limited resources to aide in their fight to survive relying instead of their own survival instinct. Counterpart roles may include Slasher, Top, Dominant and Primal Predator.

Fistee

The one who gets fisted.

Similar roles include Fisting Bottom.

Fister

The one who is fisting someone else.

Counterparts to this role include: Fistee and Fisting Bottom.

Foot Slut

Individual who experiences a strong and often fetishistic attraction to feet. This attraction can manifest in various ways, including a deep appreciation for the aesthetic qualities of feet, a desire to touch, massage, or worship feet, or finding sexual arousal and satisfaction through activities involving feet.
An individual who may choose to participate in foot fetish activities with multiple consenting partners.

Fuckdoll

A fuckdoll is someone who allows another person, generally a Dominant or Top who owns them, to use their body for sexual gratification at their whim. This can include specific positions and going limp to be moved like a doll. Fuckdoll is very similar to the fucktoy role. Fuckdoll has the implication and/or expectation that the Dominant or Top will utilize dollification/bimbofication for presentation. The fuckdoll may also be slutted and/or loaned out for others to use as part of a scene, punishment, reward, or rule set within their dynamic. I.E., someone’s living sex doll.

Fucktoy

A fucktoy is someone who allows another person, generally a Dominant or Top who owns them, use their body for sexual gratification at the Dominant/Top’s whims. It can include specific positions preferred and letting their body go limp to be moved like a toy. Fucktoys can be subjected to dollification and bimbofication by their Dominant, Top, or Owner. They can be slutted out for others to use as part of a scene, punishment, reward, or rule set within their dynamic.

I.E. someone’s living sex toy/doll

Furry

A person who enjoys artwork and other media containing anthropromorphic animals or creatures. Typically has a fursona or furry persona. Some wear costumes ranging from full suits to more token pieces. It is not always sexual in nature, but can be depending on the person.

God

A Dominant, that thrives off of a kink dynamic heavily infused with worship, admiration and devotion. A Deity may impose consensual rules upon their worshipper with ritualistic and sacrificial elements to them such as expecting prayers and ceremonial behaviour.

Goddess

Goddess, commonly a type of Domme, but also a woman in the process of learning to know, accept and love herself without limitations.

Definition 1:

A Dominant, most likely with a feminine aligned gender identity, that thrives off of a kink dynamic heavily infused with worship, admiration and devotion. A Deity may impose consensual rules upon their worshipper with ritualistic and sacrificial elements to them such as expecting prayers and ceremonial behaviours.

Definition 2

A woman who is in the process of learning to know, accept and love herself on all levels, Mind Body and Spirit. A woman who, because she focuses on personal growth and self awareness, experiences a life, increasingly filled with peace, love, joy, passion and fun. A woman that understands that she has unlimited capacity to make her life anything she wants. A woman who is inspired to give to those around her because of her sense of gratitude and abundance.

Good boy

A well behaved submissive person who does a good job. Often used as a pet name given to the submissive by their dominant. Similar roles include Good girl.

Good girl

A well behaved submissive person who does a good job. Often used as a pet name given to the submissive by their dominant. Similar roles include Good boy.

Handler

A person with a dominant role in a pet-play dynamic. Can sometimes also be used to describe a Brat Wrangler.

Head of Household

The Head of the Household (HoH) is the person (of any gender) in charge of making and enforcing the rules for their home and family. Embodies the saying “Your house, your rules.” This differs from other Dominant roles in that the HoH’s role is not to ‘order & punish’ as some would say, but to be ‘King of their castle’. They dictate how their house runs; who does what, bills, menu, bedtimes, clothes, major purchases etc, and they try to find the best ways to get these things done. In the event of a disagreement the HoH has the final say. If things continually are not done as required then it is the HoH’s job to deal with it; finding a different way, assigning punishments, deciding on what level of punishment is appropriate and so on. HoH relationships are not usually very strict or rule bound but they could be depending on the dynamic. They are often similar to an updated version of traditional family values / roles from the 1950’s. Someone leads, someone follows, they have discussions, and the HoH has final say. The HoH does not need to be the primary bread winner. BDSM or kink is also not always incorporated into this dynamic and it can be popular among non-kinky people.

Hedgehog

The recipient or bottom for needle play. Typically an affectionate term between players.

Hedonist

A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of pleasure. Some hedonists believe that experiencing pleasure is the purpose of life.

Hothusband

A cuckquean’s partner who (consensually) sleeps with other people as part of cuckolding. Often a married man who pursues sexual relationships with women other than his wife. His wife has full knowledge of his activities, consents to them, and gets pleasure from them. Sometimes this person is also referred to as a Cuck King, Stud or Queanbull.

Hotwife

A married woman who pursues sexual relationships with people other than her spouse. Her spouse has full knowledge of her activities, consents to them, and gets pleasure from them.

Hucow

A hucow is a submissive who participates in consensual cattle roleplay fetish. A hucow is the chattel of a Farmer or Owner—the Dominant in the scene or relationship. At the desires of their Owner, the hucow would engage in forced lactation, bondage, and breeding.

Human Canvas

someone into impact play, knife play, light branding who considers the body as a canvas to be painted by an impact top

Human furniture

A submissive-type role, where the sub acts as furniture. The submissive might be sat on like a couch, or have items placed on their back as though they’re a table. There are many possibilities.

Impact Bottom

A person who is hit within impact play. This term is commonly used interchangeably with Spankee though the type of instruments used and areas of the body where hit can vary.

Impact Model

An alternative name for an Impact Bottom or Spankee usually used for those who receive impact play during demonstrations or performances.

Impact Switch

A person who performs both the top and bottom role in impact play. This term is commonly used interchangeably with Spanko though the type of instruments used and areas of the body where hit can vary.

Impact Top

A person who does the hitting within impact play. This term is commonly used interchangeably with Spanker though the type of instruments used and areas of the body where hit can vary.

Incubus

A person who identifies with or enjoys role playing as an incubus. In mythology, incubus is a demon in male form. They are known for sexually assaulting and impregnating women during the night. They may also cause nightmares, night terrors, sleep paralysis, and the feeling that something heavy sits on the chest. Someone who identifies as an incubus may play with concepts or kinks related to this such as breeding play or consensual non consent. Equivalent term for a female sex demon is Succubus.

Kajira

A female owned-property slave, as per the world of Gor in John Norman’s fantasy novels.

Kajirus

A male owned-property slave, as per the world of Gor in John Norman’s fantasy novels.

Key Holder

A dominant partner who controls whether or not their submissive partner can orgasm or receive sexual stimulation. Often this is achieved by locking the submissive partner in a chastity belt or chastity cage and ‘keeping hold’ of the key implying that the submissive partner’s genitals are owned or controlled by them.

Kinkster

A person who engages with kink, regardless of their role(s) or lack thereof. “Kinkster” may be used by someone who doesn’t want to define their identity by role, who is reserving their role for conversation, who identifies with multiple roles or who is still developing their fetish identity. You might also describe a group of people with various different roles between them as being Kinksters.

Kitten

Usage 1: A person who enjoys roleplay as a kitten or cat.

Usage 2: A person who exhibits playful, cute, and sometimes bratty behavior, often with a submissive undertone or as an expression of their submissive identity.

Knight

A role focused on service, often through roleplay. Usually a bottom role but can also be a top depending on the dynamic. The power dynamic with this role is often considered to be less intense than a typical submissive or Dominant role as the Knight is more of a protector or servant.

Lab Rat

An individual who serves as a core part of an experiment or labbing information. Role can be from top or bottom perspective. Often times these experimental lessons can be taught in educational settings.

Lady

A woman who holds herself to a high ethical standard. The counterpart of the gentleman or Lord roles. While not always the case, a kink dynamic involving a lady may also involve adherence to “good manners” in behaviour and interactions, and/or a specific code of dress.

Leather Bottom

A person within the leather community or tradition who receives kinky activities from someone.

Leather Daddy

An authority figure within the leather community or tradition.

Leather Mommy

An authority figure within the leather community or tradition.

Leather Person

A person who has a fetish for leather and/or espouses the traditions and protocols of a traditional style of BDSM that arose out of the combination of male homosexual BDSM with motorcycle clubs (“biker culture”) after World War II. Leather Person is commonly used by those who identify as non-binary and is not linked to a dynamic.

Leather Slut

Typically the loud, assertive biker female that doesn’t mind be manhandled by an alpha male partner.

Leather Top

A person within the leather community or tradition who performs kinky activities on someone.

Leatherman

Leatherwoman

Little

A person who identifies with or enjoys exhibiting a child-like mindset and/or behaviors. Their relationships may or may not include a power exchange component. Related roles include babygirl and babyboy, sometimes also referred to as girl/boy.

Little Monster

A creative and very active combination of the little and monster roles. The playfulness of the little role is often combined with bratty aspects. They often exhibit cute behaviour but can be aggressive or combative (e.g: baring their fangs and claws. They come in many colours, fur types and energy levels. The monster side can be sleepy and cuddly as well as fierce and active. Beware for little monsters! They will steal your heart.

Lord

A man who holds himself to a high ethical standard. Similar to the gentleman role and a counterpart to the Lady role. While not always the case, a kink dynamic involving a lord may also involve adherence to “good manners” in behaviour and interactions, and/or a specific code of dress.

Ma’am

A title or form of address used without a name as a form of respectful or polite address towards a woman of superior rank. In the vanilla world Ma’am is used (in Britain) as a term for addressing the Queen or a royal princess or for a woman of high rank in the police or military.

Maestro

Role term for a Top that composes scenes involving their doll(s) by highlighting rhythm, music, or other forms of artistic movement.

Maid

A person who enjoys serving their partner, typically through domestic chores and service.

Marionette

A submissive or a doll that is controlled or directed by a Maestro during a scene highlighting rhythm, music, or other form of artistic movement.

Masochist

A person who enjoys receiving pain or humiliation consensually, whether it’s emotionally, mentally, or physically.

Master

In contemporary kink, a Master is a person who consensually takes ownership over someone who they are in a relationship with.

This Role In Core BDSM:

In core (or traditional) BDSM, Master is not a role, but a title for a specific form of Dominant and pertains to BDSM only. A Master accepts (or has accepted) absolute total authority and assumes ownership of a slave. A Master is someone who “owns” a submissive as property an indication that another human being found them trustable and experienced enough to transfer their whole agency to them. A Master accepts responsibility and accountability for the totality of another human being’s life (very different from real life human trafficking / slavery). It is expected that a Master possess advanced and correct knowledge of BDSM. The title is not usually self-given, but is an honor bestowed on someone as an acknowledgement of their competency by other experienced practitioners of core BDSM. It can sometimes take decades to reach the level of competence needed to earn the title of Master. Being given the title means they have experience, knowledge, and understanding of the lifestyle and of what these roles require. This includes demonstrating core values as well as being skilled at the things they use as toys. Often this title comes with responsibilities such as handing down BDSM knowledge to newer practitioners. For a core BDSM Master/slave dynamic, consent is given to the negotiated dynamic rather than to individual actions. The dynamic is recognized as a total power exchange, so consent is considered to be irrevocable after negotiation. If consent is revoked or changed, then the dynamic is often considered broken — similar to a marriage ending in divorce. Safe words are therefore usually only used as emergency stops instead of a withdrawal of consent.

Meerkat

Meerkat is an observant, yet compassionate and introspect switch. They are fierce and can deliver harsh bites, protecting their own.

Middle

A person who identifies with or enjoys exhibiting a teen-like mindset and/or behaviours – the “older” counterpart to the more childlike little. Their relationships may or may not include a component of power exchange.

Minion

An obedient, dedicated and attentive follower or servant. Usually subordinate to someone else and may be favoured over others

Mistress

A person, generally female identified, who consensually takes ownership over someone. Sometimes people may choose to use the word for Mistress in other languages as a title, even if that language isn’t one they speak, such as using: Maîtresse (french).

Mommy

A feminine term for a person who takes on a nurturing and/or maternal role in a relationship dynamic. Their dynamics often involve an element of guidance and support for their partner’s personal development. A Mommy may or may not engage in ageplay with their partner. “Mommy” may be used as a form of address instead of, or in conjunction with, other Dominant titles such as “Domina” or “Mistress”. For the right-of-slash counterpart to this role, consider babygirl/babyboy and little. For non-feminine alternatives, consider Daddy or Caregiver.

Mommy Domme

A woman who dominates a partner through coercion, affection and punishment. Usually more affectionate and gentler than Dominatrix, although there are elements of fantasy and BDSM.

Munch Organizer

A person who organizes a Munch. Generally this involves choosing a venue, working with that venue to ensure there is an appropriate space and staffing for the number of attendees expected, publicizing the munch, communicating with attendees before the event, and greeting attendees at the event. An organizer may be assisted by one or more people in performing their duties.

Muse

The muse is a person who is the source of inspiration, passion, artistic creativity, or endeavor for the Artist they are connected to. Whether they are the subject of a poem or song, or simply the most appreciative devotee of their craft, the “muse” has long been fabled for their position beside their creative companion. Muses can sometimes be amorous with the Artist, and a sexual and/or romantic arrangement begins via their devoted support. In the music world, the muse is often referred to as a “groupie”. Not every muse or groupie has sex with their beloved, although this can be quite common due to the close proximity and passion. Groupies not only appreciate the work of their musician, but also wish to show their appreciation by meeting the musician’s needs however possible, and will do whatever it takes to be close with them. Many famous groupies and muses reclaim the title and wear it proudly, such as; Pamela Des Barres, Bebe Buell, and Marianne Faithfull. Muses are often quite artistic and creative themselves, which is likely how their passionate endeavors begin with their Artist.

Mxtress

A gender neutral term for someone who consensually takes ownership over someone. Similar roles include Mistress and Master.

Needle Bottom

The recipient or bottom for needle play.

Needle Top

The person in charge of piercing their partner during needle play.

Nympho

Short for nymphomaniac. A person who has nymphomania, an insatiable desire for sexual activity. Often used to refer only to women (the Latin root nymphae refers to female genitalia and was derived from the similar Greek word meaning bride or young woman), with satyromaniac being the counterpart for men who suffer from satyriasis (the male equivalent of nymphomania). Satyro is not in common usage, however, so hypersexual men can be nymphos.

Object

Being used and/or viewed as something inanimate; (ex: chair, table, Ash tray, etc)

Organizer

A person who will organize events for the lager BDSM/kink community. Often these people do this voluntarily as part of giving back to the community or building spaces that they wish to see with their ability and energy. They can facilitate or host events like munches, play parties, rope jams or other events that help to bring people with similar interests together. Note that organizers are most likely not an authorized power or have any more say than others within the community except for the power that is given to them by attendees. Some may hold some power as an owner of a venue, but generally they will do their best to make sure their power is well balanced. Some organizers will have some forms of formal power given to them by their community (e.g: head of a community council) and there are often clear processes in place to manage that power dynamic.

Otter

A somewhat hairy, lean, average, or athletic-built gay or bisexual male-identifying person.

Owner

A person who consensually possesses and controls another. An Owner takes responsibility over the needs of their partner and cares for it as one would care for a precious object/animal. Related counterparts to this role include:

pet
toy
Doll
property

Papabear

Papabear usually refers to someone who is a combination Daddy and Bear rolled into one. A gentle kind of Dom who is in charge, not in a pushy way but in a protective way. The counterpart to this role is often a cub. A Daddy often with the physical traits of a Bear. The way this role is written or pronounced also sometimes varies depending on cultural differences or personal preferences e.g: Poppabear, Popibear, PoppaBehr etc.

Painslut

Someone who enjoys masochistic behavior, including but not limited to being smacked, spanked, choked, and hit by objects (impact play). This is usually someone who is submissive (but not in all cases) and really enjoys a lot of physical pain and/or humiliation. Often considered to be someone who ‘just can’t get enough’ pain or torture, similar to someone who enjoys lots of sex.

Papi

An alternate (Spanish language) form of Daddy. Oftentimes, but not always, with a more gentle and/or nurturing connotation.

Perpetrator

Perpetrators consensually inflict abuse, use and mistreatment on their victims. Associated with sadism and edge play such as consensual non consent, fear play, emotional sadism and role play involving pre-negotiated consensual kidnapping, rape play or interrogation.

Caution: This term is used within legal terminology to describe people convicted of real crimes so some people may find the use of this term within consensual kink play to be problematic.

Pet

An individual s-type who identifies within pet play. They may identify as an animal pet, but human pets exist as well. A pet is usually treated like they are beloved and owned.

Pillow Princess

A pillow princess is generally a submissive/princess who enjoys having things done to them. They enjoy being pleasured and adored simultaneously

Pig

A submissive often focused on degradation, dehumanisation or humiliation play. Pigs often enjoy playing with body fluids, being dirty (literally or figuratively) and may dress like pigs as part of this.

Pincushion

The recipient or bottom for needle play. Typically an affectionate term between players.

Pixie

Pixies in the BDSM community are an identity that is both based on behaviour as well as a more ethereal nature. Referencing the Fair Folk of Briton Cornish/Devon origin, they are impish creatures of mischief and neutrality. They are relatively peaceful with a love of dancing, childlike whimsy, and even assistance to favourite humans… As much as they like playing tricks, Pixies are helpful and may lean into service role tendencies (such as housework duties.) That doesn’t make them entirely benevolent. Like the folklore tales of being “pixy-led”, for their own amusement they may provoke, confuse, trick, or play. Sometimes even stealing your pretty shiny objects. A lot of Pixies may identify as brats or pets, as the behaviour will closely align with bratting or faerie-centric petplay, but this doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. Some may choose this Role because they feel they are Incarnated Elemental Souls or Pixie Otherkin, so it becomes a representing role that encompasses every aspect of their life, including kink activities.

Plaything

Usually a submissive role used within a dynamic with a Dominant. Different variation of a Toy.

Pleasure Dominant

A dominant who holds control over a submissive’s pleasure, typically controlling when they can orgasm or even play with themselves. In this dynamic, pleasure is emphasized and used as a reward. Control is often exerted in the form of edging and orgasm play including withholding and / or forcing orgasms.

Pleasure Sadist

A person who enjoys inflicting orgasms consecutively on someone until the point where the pleasure teeters on the threshold of Pleasure Pain. Pleasure Pain can take many forms, including but not limited to:

Physical pleasure pain (e.g. cramping, exhaustion or passing out from pleasure)
Emotional or mental pleasure Pain (e.g. needing more heightened states of bliss while simultaneously begging for it to end )

Pony

A person who enjoys roleplay as a pony or horse.

Poppet

An endearingly sweet or pretty child (often used as an affectionate form of address). Usually refers to a little as part of age play and is similar to babygirl or babyboy roles.

Power Bottom

A particularly energetic or enthusiastic receiving partner. Can be someone who receives (bottoms) but who leads or controls the flow of play. Often slang that is associated with gay sex but is also used within the kink community by all genders.

Prey

A Primal who enjoys being hunted or taking on a carnal submissive role in play, usually associated with (Primal Predator). Being primal, on a basic level, is being in touch with one’s animalistic side similar to something like a wolf in a human body. Primal Prey embody this in their actions and attitude. They may bite, scratch, growl, whimper, beg, howl or employ other behaviors traditionally associated with animals. Sometimes more specifically acting “lower on the food chain”, or lower in stature to their chosen Primal mate. Often Primal Predators behave similarly and fuck like they understand their mate (the primal prey) can take it. Primal Prey enjoy sex that symbolically models the animal kingdom and presumed “wildlife rules” or “jungle rules” (e.g: survival of the fittest / where there are no laws or rules and force can be used to obtain what someone wants). Generally Prey enjoy being hunted and captured and may commonly embrace elements of consensual-non consent sex, pain play, humiliation, degradation, and more.

Primal

A person who prefers to release themselves from human inhibitions and embrace wildness and/or their own inner beast, sometimes identifying with roles based on foundational and/or animalistic instincts, behaviors, and desires.

Property

A submissive type role, owned by somebody (usually their Dominant or Owner). This is typically a more objectifying role.

Rigger

Usually refers to a person who practices the art of bondage. The origin of the term rigger is rooted in sailing, vertical transport industry and entertainment where these professions are commonly responsible for lifting of objects and securing objects at height. Hence the connection that people commonly have with suspension bondage. These professions also make for a stronger connection with rope. However both suspension and rope are not required parts of what a rigger does. Besides rope a rigger can also use chains, belts, foil or other materials to “bind” a person in a restraining way and potentially suspend them with these or a combination of materials.

Roleplayer

A roleplayer assumes a role by modifying their behaviour or outfits to bring a scene and scenario to life.

Rope Bottom

A person who has the rope tied on them during rope bondage or rope play.

Rope Bunny

A popular alternative for Rope Bottom, often a model for performance, photography, or demos. Not all people who receive rope are comfortable with this term.

Rope Self-Tier

A person who does rope play with themselves, taking on the roles of RopeTop and Rope Bottom simultaneously. A Self-Tie is generally used to refer to the resulting ties.

Rope Top

A person who does the tying in rope play. This term is commonly used interchangeably with Rigger, generally when a person does suspension as part of their rope practice.

Sadist

A person who enjoys watching or inflicting consensual pain on someone. Pain can take many forms, including but not limited to:

Physical pain
Emotional or mental pain (e.g. degradation and/or humiliation)

Sadomasochist

A person who engages in sadism and masochism. Sadomasochism refers to the derivation of sexual gratification from the infliction of physical pain or humiliation either on another person or on oneself.

Self-Tier

A person who ties rope on themselves, functioning as both a Rope Top and a Rope Bottom at the same time.

Sensualist

A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of sensual pleasures and interests. Some people define sensual as relating to the physical senses (such as hearing, touch, taste, etc.) and seek pleasure by stimulating as many of them as possible. Some people define sensual as being synonymous with a relaxed and languid manner of seduction, and prefer slower movements and lower volumes of speech and/or background music.

Sensual Primal

A person who prefers to release themselves from human inhibitions and embrace wildness and/or their own inner beast but with a focus on the pursuit of sensual pleasures.

Servant

A submissive or slave who prefers labor over sexual interaction. A servant may act as a maid, butler, handyman, or personal service such as bathing and grooming.

Service Brat

A Service Brat is a brat who enjoys being of service. Whether they helpfully scale back the brattiness so that some service actually gets done, or they simply cannot help being sarcastic or fidgety while they kneel in service, it’s the contradictions of life that these folks enjoy. Imagine a sassy piece of human furniture that cannot stop cracking jokes, and does not mind a spank or a little spilled drink for their trouble, and you probably are not far off.

Service submissive

A submissive type that enjoys serving others. Sexual service or household service (such as cleaning) are examples.

Service Top

The Service Top applies sensation or control, with the bottom’s pleasure in mind, rather than their own. Though both the Service Top and their bottom may enjoy the experience, Service Tops make the bottom’s experience the priority and enjoy the act of serving their bottom what they need. This is different to other forms of Top roles which are often the receiver of service or are of equal priority to the Bottom. Service Tops negotiate custom activities and/or intensity for the enjoyment of the consenting bottom(s). They get enjoyment from the act of Topping, and that pleasure is often increased by the intensity of the pleasure received by their partner. The Service Top and their bottom may have any type of dynamic.

Sigma

Mostly characterized by being elusive, independent, mysterious but loyal and assertive, someone who chooses to go without the social hierarchy and external validation, does not care for peer pressure or societal norms they do what they want when they want. A contrast to the Alpha and beta archetypes but possessing some of the characteristics of both. They often considered a bit of line wolf, but can also be charming, charismatic and can ooze confidence without being a push over. With their detachment from social hierarchy they tend to be less sensitive to social pressures and are commonly on the introverted side of the spectrum. Some consider them more “rare”, but in general they tend to stand out less due to their reduced social signature.

Criticism: The idea of being a “Sigma” personality is derived from the pseudoscience associated with alpha & beta males. This is a masculine cultural background which some people may consider problematic. There has been documentation that disproves the myth of the Alpha Male. The term is also sometimes associated with manosphere groups, in particular incel groups. The term itself however is less in the focus of this discussion as they people identifying with the label are less involved with these associations.

Sir

An Authoritative title which lies somewhere in between Daddy and Master on the Dominant title spectrum and which may be used instead of, or in conjunction with, other such Dominant titles.

Sissy

A person (male or female) who engages in being feminized as a kink. This can also include being humiliated in order to reach a different emotional or mental state. A Sissy is submissive to their partner.

Slave

A person who gives up total control to someone who they are in an agreed-upon dynamic and/or relationship with.

Core BDSM:

In Traditional BDSM/Core BDSM, the definition above may be considered incomplete or misguiding because slave is a title attributed to a submissive who enters a Total Authority Transfer, therefore effectively and irrevocably transferring all of their agency to their Dominant (who has the title of Master or Mistress) becoming their “property”. It is, of course, a consensual process that must be negotiated at length before being entered into. Once the slave consents to the Authority Transfer, they are considered to be entitled to no further right of consent, their only recourse to the will of their Master being to withdraw consent to the dynamic as a whole, therefore ending it. Most often the judgement, feedback, and personality of a slave are highly valued by their Masters, who employ a considerable amount of time, effort, and work in the development and happiness of their slaves. A Core BDSM slave has nothing to do with historical slavery or any form of coercion.

Slut

A person who embraces the freedom to engage in sexual activity in accordance with their desires, with one or multiple partners, regardless of conventional values. This word “slut” may be considered a slur. Some people have chosen to embrace this role as a way of reclaiming the word for themselves.

Smart Ass Masochist

A Masochist with a razor sharp tongue that will intentionally, but consensually, attempt to get a rise from their partner. Often abbreviated to SAM. Although this definition is similar to a “brat”; the role can be differentiated by the level of intensity. A SAM is generally less playful and more intentional towards their partner. A SAM may view the antagonizing of their partner as a sign that they are being successful in their endeavors. In this dynamic SAMs usually have pre-negotiated autonomy within their dynamic or scene where they are allowed to try and be playful with their partner as a means to request “funishment” or illicit an immediate “Primal” response. Smart-ass masochists tend to be Bottoms or submissives as their primary motivator is usually a desire for a response or “to get in trouble”. Their counterparts are often Sadists, Tops or Dominants of some kind.

Spankee

A person who enjoys being spanked.

Spanker

A person who enjoys spanking others.

Spanko

A person with a strong interest (often a fetish) in spanking and/or being spanked.

Stag

A typically masculine identifying person who engages in sexual relations with another person or persons, together with their partner, who is referred to as a Vixen. Part of the enjoyment for a Stag is arranging, thinking of, watching, or hearing about their partner’s sexual relationships with others. A stag enjoys their Vixen being desired and sexually enjoying themselves with another person. Unlike in cuckolding dynamics, there is no humiliation aspect in a Stag and Vixen dynamic. Stags may watch and/or participate as their Vixen engages in sexual relations with others. In some situations, the Stag may not watch or participate at all, but instead, hear about the sexual encounter narrated by the Vixen later, as long as the encounter is communicated well between all individuals participating. Stags will often reclaim their Vixen after the sexual encounter with others. Reclaiming allows the Stag and Vixen to reconnect as a couple and enjoy the heightened senses that come with the experience of the loyalty and unselfish devotion they have for each other.

Strawberry

Someone who has few kinks or fetishes and may not consider themselves to be very kinky but also does not consider themselves to be completely Vanilla.

Other Uses

Outside of the scene, in certain parts of the USA, this term may also be used as slang to refer to someone who is a sex worker in return for drugs.

In certain parts of the world, the term refers to those who look promising at first, but spoil easily under pressure.

Submissive

A person who agrees to submit or give up control in a relationship, scene, or activity.

Core BDSM:

In Traditional BDSM/Core BDSM a submissive is someone who enters an Authority Transfer, therefore effectively and irrevocably transferring a negotiable portion of their agency to their Dominant. A submissive does not transfer ALL of their agency to their Dominant: for the parts not included in the AT there is no submission. Submission is a consensual process best negotiated at length before being entered into. Once the submissive consents to the Authority Transfer though, within the areas of submission they are not entitled to further right of consent and their only recourse to the will of their Dominant is to withdraw consent to the dynamic, therefore ending it.

Submissive masochist

A submissive type that receives pain.

Succubus

A person who identifies with or enjoys role playing as a succubus. In mythology, a succubus is a female sex demon known for seducing or sexually assaulting men during the night as they sleep. Someone who identifies as a succubus may play with concepts or kinks related to this such as consensual non consent and orgasm play. The male counterpart of a succubus is called an Incubus.

History:

A succubus is a mythological creature or supernatural entity often depicted in folklore, legends, and religious texts. According to folklore, a succubus is a female demon or spirit that seduces and engages in sexual activity with men, typically while they are asleep. Succubi are often portrayed as alluring, seductive beings who drain the life force or energy of their victims through sexual encounters. In various mythologies and cultural beliefs, succubi are associated with nightmares, sleep paralysis, and nocturnal emissions.

Lilith As A Succubus:

It is believed by some people that Lilith was the first Succubus. Ben Sira (Simon the Just), a Jewish scribe, cites the Bible passage indicating that after creating Adam, God realizes that it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). In Ben Sira’s additions to the biblical tale, God fashions another person from the EARTH, a female called Lilith. Soon the human couple begins to fight. Lilith refuses to lie underneath Adam during sex; but he insists that she is beneath him. She is simply asserting her personal freedom. Lilith states, “We are equal because we are both created from the earth.” By refusing to submit, Lilith incurred the wrath of God and fled to the Red Sea, where she was cast from paradise forever and became the succubus (a temptress of innocent men), the breeder of evil spirits, and a child-murdering monster of the night.

Swinger

A person who has consensual sex with other people within and outside of their committed relationships. This is a respectful dynamic that, depending on the relationship, works in different ways for different people. There are often boundaries that are pre-negotiated between swingers such as who is able to sleep with whom.

Switch

A person who participates in relationships, scenes, and activities as a Top/Dominant or bottom/submissive depending on their mood, partner, or the situation. Some switches enjoy changing their power dynamic during the scene.

Tamer

A dominant person who seeks to tame their partner’s behaviour.

Teddy Bear

Usually male who has a “dad” bod and is cuddly and playful.

Temptress

Someone who tempts someone to do something, typically a sexually attractive femme who sets out to allure or seduce someone.

Top

In kink, this usually refers to a person who takes on an “active” role of providing stimulation or facilitating play for the Bottom. The Top carries out the execution of kink on the giving end, with the bottom on the receiving end. Note that unlike a Dominant, a Top does not necessarily have to assume control or engage in powerplay.

As an umbrella role:

Often the role is also used as an umbrella term by people who feel that their role is not as rigid as other power dynamic roles or because it changes from connection to connection. As an umbrella term, it is usually used when the person carries out/gives/controls the play. This is reflected in other roles like Leather Top, Needle Top, Rope Top and Service Top who use the “Top” to indicate that they are the person giving a specific type of play to another person.

As a LGBTQ+ community role:

In the LGBTQ+ community, the term is also used for the partner who performs penetration in sex, or a person who generally prefers to perform it rather than receive it.

Toy

A toy is a person whose focus is being used as a tool to provide pleasure or amusement. The toy can either be an active or passive partner in the interaction.

Unicorn

A single bisexual woman who is willing to join a couple, typically a heterosexual couple, for sexual encounters or a threesome. The term “unicorn” comes from the idea that such a woman is rare and elusive, just like a mythical unicorn. The term is commonly used in the swinging and polyamorous communities, where couples may seek out a unicorn to enhance their sexual experiences or explore new aspects of their sexuality together.
Related Terms: Different communities may use different terms

The most common equivalent term for a man appears to be “Dragon”
A single bisexual man in this context is sometimes called a “centaur”.

Vanilla

A person without any identified kinks or fetishes. This term is also sometimes used as a shorthand to refer to people who are not part of the kink lifestyle.

Vixen

A typically femme identifying person who engages in sexual relations with another person or persons, sometimes together with their partner, who is referred to as a Stag. Part of the enjoyment for a Vixen is thinking of and witnessing their Stag’s sexual arousal, adoration, and gratification as the Vixen engages in sexual relationships and encounters with others. In some situations, the Vixen may have sexual encounters on their own without the Stag, as long as they narrate or communicate the sexual encounter to their Stag later. Unlike in cuckolding dynamics, there is no humiliation aspect in a Stag and Vixen dynamic. Vixens will often be reclaimed by their Stags after the sexual encounter. Reclaiming allows the Stag and Vixen to reconnect as a couple and enjoy the heightened senses that come with the experience of the loyalty and unselfish devotion they have for each other.

Voyeur

A person who enjoys watching others, usually in a sexual context, without engaging with them.

Wolf

Often a primal/petplay role. Involves one acting as a wolf, which could mean biting, howling, and scratching, alongside typical “pup” behaviors.